Unforgetable

One of the few constants in my life is my unyielding superiority in the field of parental blunders. I forget to pack water bottles in lunch boxes. I almost never host playdates. The nanny knows more of the kids' friends' parents than I do...in fact she does host playdates. We constantly run out of yogurt and I never buy the right kind of cereal. My pancakes are nowhere near as good as daddy's even though they come from the same damn box. I even missed Sofia's first birthday (just by a few hours, I was on an airplane...at least it was flying toward her and not away).

But yesterday I outdid myself. It was the 6th and final day of the living hell I like to call "The nanny goes to Mexico." When she brought up the idea of a vacation, I played it so cool. Of course she should take the week off. They are my children after all. I can handle a week of juggling bus stops, preschool, acting class, dance class, lunches, homework, laundry. I'll even take them for a flu shot. My full-time plus job? I'll squeeze it in there, no problem.

Last week started OK. They were off school Tuesday, so I took the day off and took them rock climbing, to a friend's house for lunch, to the flu shot clinic, and to the polls (they both voted for Brocco!) I even managed to meet an old friend for dinner that night. Easy peasy. Then I woke up the next morning half dead with what I assume was a reaction to the flu shot. So add to the work/kid juggling act a truckload of Zicam, kleenex & vitamin C. I got through the week in triage mode, and managed to hit the one deadline that I had no leeway on (all other projects got stuck in neutral). And then it was yesterday. My last day sans nanny. Piece of cake.

Typically, Mondays are hectic for me. I usually start with my favorite gym class of all time - cardio sport. It is hard to explain, does "ultimate death match for 30-something moms" make any sense? You just have to try it. So normal Mondays start with putting Emma on the bus, dropping Fia at preschool, hitting the gym for 90 minutes of sheer exhiliaration, then rushing home to prep for weekly staff meeting and all the other crap I do for a paycheck. Sofia has lunch bunch, and the nanny usually picks her up at 1, brings her home, and manages the kids while I work. Simple. So yesterday, I got it all right...right up until 1:15. Sanne walked into my office for our staff meeting at 1:30 just as the phone rang. I looked at the caller ID - Room 2 Grow. Hmmm....oh shit. I pick up the phone "Oh crap, Miss Carol, I totally forgot. On my way." I could hear the disdain in her voice. Miss Carol is in her mid-60s. Raised 4 kids. Has been running her own preschool for 20 years. I bet she never abandons anyone.

I rush to the school, blurting out to the teachers and Sofia "I am so sorry...can't believe I forgot my own child." Miss Denise shoots me a "you fucking moron" look and says in perfect preschool teacher happy voice, "It's Okaaay. You were stuck in traffic. Sofia wasn't worried." All the while shooting daggers at me. Poor pathetic mother. Doesn't even have the decency to cover up her stupidity with a nice white lie.

Next time, I'm going to Mexico with the nanny.