Wednesday, February 3, 2010

more bacon than the pan can handle

I'm back! Sometimes you just have to take a year off from blogging. Let's move on, shall we?

I have re-entered the blog arena because my friend Sue says I'm really funny and I should be writing it all down. If Sue had a blog it would be called Part Time Personal Trainer. She has the best arms, gun show. She could probably kill you in 30 seconds with her bare hands but she prefers to torture you slowly with medicine balls and big, heavy barbells. But if you saw her arms you would do whatever she tells you, just like I do.

At Sue's suggestion, I have downloaded a lifestyle tool from the iphone app store, and am using it to track my daily calorie intake and exercise. Losing weight is a frighteningly simple equation - eat less, exercise more. So why are so many people fat? Oh, right, because bacon tastes good.

But I have figured out a calorie-free way to enjoy bacon. Maybe it's not quite as good as the dead, cured, pig variety. But it is zero calories and if you stick it to the back of your hand and squint your eyes while you look at it you can almost taste the bacony goodness. Thanks, Lauren.

Wednesday, April 1, 2009

Losing is for Losers

From our local paper...

What I find most amusing amid the ridiculousness of the "backlash" is that I bet all the parents who were offended by this guy's email would readily fork over 8 bucks a pop for tickets to the Disney comedy "Green Death," starring the Rock and Abigail Breslin.

http://www.patriotledger.com/sports/x575725578/-Green-Death-coach-resigns#email

Monday, March 9, 2009

Why I put up with the snoring and the guy smells and the inability to find anything in the kitchen...

Me: Hey, have you seen the thumb drive with the IOSC proceedings on it?

Pete: Not sure, I have a bunch at work I'll bring home.

Me: I think it says Vikoma on it.

Pete: If it said Vicodin on it, you would know where it was.

Me: If it said Vicodin on it, it would be empty.

Monday, January 19, 2009

Otherwise Known as Foxtail

Two years ago, at age 36, on what amounted to little more than a dare, I was persuaded to jam my feet into heavy, stiff boots, affix them to two long pieces of waxed fiberglass, don every piece of wicking insulated clothing I owned, and brave single digit temperatures in order to hurl myself down a snowy slope in the Chugach Mountains. After 2 hours of private instruction, I was amazed at how easily I was making my way down the beginner slopes. I spent the entire first day, where the high temp never quite made it above +4, slipping & sliding down Alyeska's green circle runs and feeling pretty much like a badass. I love the ski lodge culture, I loved all the clunky gear, I love the woman vs. mountain. And I love the amazing, beautiful scenery. You can see Cook Inlet from the ski lift. That year (2007) was a record snowfall, there was over 4 feet of snow on the ground, over 80 feet had fallen so far that winter.

Day 2 of my new life as a skier (still 2007 at Alyeska), I took another private lesson & then rendezvoused with my business partner & his girlfriend, who are both lifelong amazing expert skiers. After watching me scrape out a few wedge turns on the green slope, they pronounced me ready to go to the top. So they snuck me onto the gondola since I didn't have an all mountain ticket (it was about 7 degrees that day, but -5 on the summit, very cold for a lift). We paused at the summit for a hot chocolate which in retrospect very well could have been my last supper. And then they led me out to the trail. They assured me that there were enough gentle intermediate slopes to get down to the bottom, no problem. So we emerge from the summit lodge into this huge bowl, with skiers and snowboarders zipping down slopes that looked to me to be straight vertical, and then flying onto the skinny, steep, winding, switchbacky trail that was my only way back to sea level, 2500 vertical feet and many many more linear feet below me.

Like childbirth, I have managed to block out most of the horror of my prolonged, messy, death-defying slide to the bottom of the hill. I do recall that I fell within the first 20 feet of the run, on the perilous switchbacky part where I could easily have plunged right over the edge. I remember that Tim and Ronda were frighteningly unconcerned for my mortal peril, and that by about 1/4 of the way down, when I had reached the point where I would gladly have traded both of my children for the ability to click my heels and return home, that they were starting to be sort of amused by my twisted interactions with gravity. They started naming my falls. "Ooh, that one looked like a spider" they chuckled as I slid down an icy rock face in crab walk position. "Ouch, the wheelbarrow looked like it stung a bit."

I am told that all skiers have a "then my friends dragged me to the top of the mountain and let me go" story. And maybe this is some secret ritual, a way of separating out those individuals who are highly evolved enough to realize that a sport where you can drop endless cash and risk your life at every turn while suffering the most uncomfortable footwear ever...well, maybe Darwin intervenes on behalf of those folks who know better. I'm just not one of the those folks.

So, last year Pete (absolutely thrilled that I have picked up yet another of his bad habits) and I spent some time up in NH, put the girls in ski school, and officially anointed ourselves as a ski family. And despite the rented gear, too-long snowpants, unyielding nose running, my many, many falls down mountains in AK, CO, and NH, and the harsh realization that I will probably never evolve much beyond "average," well...I return.

This weekend we questioned our judgment when the weather folks predicted record lows, but we decided to give it a go, and had an amazing time. Nearly a foot of fresh powder fell over the course of the weekend, and the conditions though cold, were ideal. I took another lesson & have just about graduated from pizza to french fry, and can finally do a hockey stop, at least on one side (the other side is still more of a hockey pause). Emma is now safely skiing some of the shorter blue runs, and when Sofia actually pays attention she is probably the most naturally gifted skier in the family. (Unfortunately, she is also the one most likely to ski into a snowboarder in the lift line, or fall down when it is completely flat & then refuse to get up. But I remind myself, she's only 4).

Our routine is ski school for the kids in the morning, then ski together as a family on the lower mountain in the afternoon. Pete & I switch off kids. Emma is more fun to ski with because she can take more challenging runs, but it is tiring for me because I have trouble matching her speed, and end up either passing her or way behind her. She is also a lot harder to help up when she falls. Fia is limited to a few of the easier runs, but she's much easier to pick up when she falls. So yesterday, I skied a few runs with her down a fairly underutilized green run, which Pete convinced her was her own secret run that she discovered. So I told Fia that since she had discovered it, she had naming rights. And thus there is a new run on Cannon Mountain, off the Tuckerbrook lift, called the Unicorn Mermaid Fairy Ladybug Princess Sparkle Sofia Run.

Wednesday, December 31, 2008

Fade to White

Outside my window the wind is howling and the snow is swirling so thick that I can barely see the house across the street. Ordinarily, I love a good blizzard. But not when I'm expecting 25 people for a New Year's Eve bash that's been in the works for 2 months. Timing.

This is actually a perfect cap to a year of swirling craziness. Reflecting back, there were some great times. Skiing as a family in February and March. Cuttyhunk. Pete's promotion. Another prosperous year for Nuka. A great new nanny. Many new friends. But there was also a whole lot of churn and anxiety.

I've been struggling with the holiday blues, with the dark feelings that creep in, especially this time of year. I recognize that there is an element of choice to my moods - sulking is a choice, fear is a choice, anger is a choice. So my challenge to myself for the New Year is to make better choices about how to handle the inevitable stressors - to focus on the bright, shiny moments and let go of the dark, angry ones. Let the swirling snow pile up where it will, and appreciate that I am safe and warm. And most of all, remember that I already have everything I need to let in the light. It is simply a matter of choice.

Sunday, December 21, 2008

Believe

I'm feeling particularly dull this holiday season.  I've gone through all the motions, but I can't quite get in touch with the joy.  I think this is fairly common, especially among over-achieving moms of young children who literally spend every spare moment from Thanksgiving to Dec 24th making lists, baking, shopping, decorating, hiding, wrapping, menu planning, shopping for things we forget, making new lists, wrapping some more, and constantly anxious that we've forgotten that one critical piece and that our oversight will ultimately send the entire house of holiday cards crashing down.

I sat through Sofia's adorable preschool holiday play totally dry-eyed.  Typically I am a weepy mess.  Ditto for flying santa, for the 12 days of christmas sing-a-long at the neighborhood holiday party.  Usually I am a sentimental wreck, but this year I feel like I'm in a bubble, watching the whole thing unfold through a dirty window.  

I'm not typically one to succumb to the holiday blues, but this year they've gripped me.  So, if you happen to run into Clarence the Angel or Buddy the Elf, or even Bad Santa...could you send them my way?  

Thursday, November 27, 2008

Thanksgiving

Sofia is 72 hours out of the OR and climbing on furniture, shaking her booty to High School Musical, and eating turkey like a Pilgrim.

When we brought Sofia home from the hospital, she and her sister hugged so hard I lost my breath for a moment.

Tomorrow Pete will lug the 15 rubbermaid tubs full of Christmas flair out of the basement.

My wineglass is full and the DVR is loaded.

Game on.